Whose Money Is It Anyway? A Stolen Tip and a Lesson in Money as Energy

I was at the beach the other day when I got a text from a colleague telling me a guest had left me a tip! She said well done, sent a photo and told me she’d put it on my trolley. I was genuinely so surprised and pleased with myself - I’m not a natural housekeeper to be honest, I’m trying my hardest but it’s hard work and a steep learning curve, and I am definitely comparing myself to my colleagues who started at the same time as me…

Today was my first day since that text and I was a bit excited to take my 50sek (£3.86) to a local beauty spot and buy myself an ice cream after work. But when I got to ‘my trolley’ it wasn’t there. We sort of share trolleys although some of us - me included - have designated ones that we always use and other people ‘float’. Well, whoever the floater was in the last few days took my tip - and more, left my trolley in a mess. '

When Someone Takes What Isn't Theirs

I was fuming to be honest! It’s not a lot of money, by any standards, but it was my money, sat under a card with my name on it, on my trolley and what’s more - it definitely didn’t belong to them! I spoke to my manager about it and got on with my day - if somebody is willing to do that for 50sek then they have to live with that. 

In my last room though, I found a 50sek tip! And a sweet little note thanking the housekeeper for doing such a good job. Unfortunately there wasn’t a card with the housekeeper’s name on it, so at the end of my shift I took the cash down to my manager. Of course, she told me to keep it - ‘the universe has shown up for you’ - which I totally understand but that’s not my 50sek. I wouldn’t enjoy having it and I would feel awful that my colleague didn’t get her little spot of recognition that she earned. 

Why I Believe Money Is Energy

It might sound a little woowoo - and I certainly wouldn't suggest choosing investments based on it - but I do think money represents energy. Not quite literally, but it gives us access to the resources, time and labour that keep us alive and help us thrive. Instead of carrying around a cow or a sack of grain to trade, we use money as a shared system of exchange and in that sense, money is a claim on real-world resources. If those resources are food, for example, then ultimately they contain energy that began, for the most part, with sunlight captured by plants through photosynthesis. Wild to think about. 

It’s not a huge leap then to care about the source of money and to care that it’s directed in a right way. The second tip wasn’t my tip, it would have never felt good - and in the same way I have to trust that the first tip, never being the other person’s rightful money, will never feel good for them.

What Inheritance Teaches Us About Money and Energy

One way that I think this shows up in ‘real world money’ - as opposed to ice cream money - is in inheritance. The way people deal with inheritance money is really interesting to me (and it’s been interesting discussing this with clients too). 

The energy around it can vary wildly. Depending on whether you were close or not, whether the deceased died ‘well’, whether they were too young, had led a good life, left their finances organised, worked to the very end, discussed the inheritance with the beneficiary and probably many more things I can’t think of. How people receive that money can vary wildly too - maybe they were an executor, maybe the will was complex and contested, maybe it was a surprise, maybe it’s incredibly needed, maybe it’s ‘too little’ or maybe it’s taken years to come through. And then how people deal with it varies too of course, some plan for it, some daren’t spend it, some spend it all to get rid of it, some spend ‘frivolously’, some do their best to ‘make the right decisions’ and be sensible, some give it all away. 

There’s no right or wrong, of course (or there might be but it’s not the place to work that out here) but it has the potential to be a truly fraught process and is the proof that anybody needs that money is energy and carries energy with it. Ignoring that does nobody any favours.

Lessons from The Soul of Money* by Lynne Twist

*That’s an affiliate link so I’ll get a bit of money if you buy through it.

I’m reading this right now and I’ve just started enjoying it, the first chapter was a bit teeth-clenchy with some incredible, overt fatphobia but I bit my tongue, carried on and I think I’m glad because I have just become inspired again. The premise of the book depends on the idea that money is energy really - where it comes from and how we use it is an extension of our own humanity in one way or another. She was a wealthy housewife who became inspired to fundraise for charity and became very good at it.

In a chapter right in the middle of the book (and full disclosure, I haven’t finished the book, so I may end up hating it) she talks about money being like water. The metaphor comes from the contrast between two meetings on a single day in 1978. One where she met the CEO of a mega-corp who has just had a bad news cycle and was looking to spend money to alleviate guilt. And a second where she gave a talk to a group of elderly, black people in Harlem. One woman, Barbara, was the first to stand up and offer money with a speech explaining that money was like water - for some people it’s a crashing, flowing river, for others - like her - it’s more of a trickle but she wants her money to be doing the best thing it can be and so she gives what she can - $50. Later that night the author sends back the cheque for $50,000 to the CEO explaining that he needs to find somewhere to donate the money that he has a real connection too.

The story seems a little… overblown to me… but apocryphal or not, the concept of money as a river - flowing to you and from you - leads to some really interesting discussion later on. The concept of money flowing like this invites us to become stewards of the money, it isn’t ours to keep, we’re not looking to hoard it, we’re looking to use it and use it well. 

Which brings me back to money as energy and why I didn’t accept the second tip. 

What You Can Actually Control With Money

If there's one thing to take from all this, it's that you can't fix anyone else's relationship with money, only your own. I can't make the person who took my tip feel bad about it, but I can guarantee my colleague gets her moment of recognition because I can control is what passes through my own hands, and whether I handle it honestly. That's the whole job, really. 

If any of this - money as energy, money as a mirror for how we treat each other, money as something we're stewarding rather than simply owning - stirred something in you, that's exactly the territory we work through together in coaching. Whether it's an inheritance you don't know what to do with, guilt about what you earn (or don't), or just wanting a calmer, more honest relationship with your money, I'd love to help. Find out more about working with me right here. 

Love Eleanor. xxx

A sweet little P.S…

Since writing this last week I received another little tip. A card and some sweets thanking me for making their stay so pleasant. I did not expect to feel so appreciated as a clumsy, sweaty housekeeper.