LGBTQ+ Personal Finance in the UK: How Sexuality, Gender and Queer Identity Shape Your Finances in the UK

It’s the beginning of Pride week here in Stockholm and as this blog goes out I am currently volunteering at the Pride Village helping to set up the stalls and stages where we will gather to protest, party, build community and enjoy being around other queer folk and allies. I’ll be volunteering to help steward the parade too and I have been literally looking forward to this since I did it last year. If you have a chance to volunteer for something you feel strongly about, seriously, do it. I’m not sure there’s anything more life affirming. 

With that in mind, I wanted to talk a little about how queerness can intersect with money and finances.

Of course, the LGBTQIA+ community is a broad church and not everything applies to everybody. I also want to emphasise that, whilst there are specific considerations which affect us, the basics of personal finance don’t change that much (spend less than you earn, save and invest, spend intentionally etc.) it is imperative that we understand in our bones that we deserve this. So much of the queer experience, especially as it’s presented to outside communities is about the struggle to survive (I guess in order to create the empathy that is necessary to effect change) and I think that can, in some ways become ingrained. 

So, I’m going to talk about some difficulties here, but it’s not a dead cert that this will apply and if it does, it doesn’t have to be this way. Stability and comfort is your birthright. 

Basic Personal Finance Advice for LGBTQ+ People 

There are a lot of assumptions in personal finance I think - finish school, get married, buy a house, have kids, retire. It’s definitely changing, and I know I follow many people who don’t espouse that model, but it’s right there. For many LGBTQIA+ people life just doesn't look like that - through lifestyle choice or through the friction created by trying to fit in with a world that doesn’t appreciate or affirm you. 

The basic rules of personal finance - investing, saving, pensions, budgeting, intentionality, all the things we talk about on this blog - don’t change because you’re queer but it’s likely the circumstances you apply them in might. 

Money Advice Isn’t Neutral

There are a lot of assumptions inherent in the mainstream financial advice and education space: heterosexual couples, similar income (or the woman earning a little less), family support, easy access to healthcare, legal protections at home and at work, children arriving ‘naturally’, inheritance following expected paths, etc.

If you get as far as speaking to a financial adviser, one of their main jobs is to dig deep into the nuances of your life, circumstances and expectations. You’re going to get a more personalised service, but if you’re on this website it’s likely that traditional financial advice isn’t for you, for one reason or another - so the information you’re accessing likely has these assumptions built in. 

Some of it might apply, absolutely, but is a financial blogger who has this scenario in mind thinking about the effect of not being able to go to the toilet at work? Or not being able to rely on your homophobic parents’ support? Or how homeschooling a kid who’s being bullied for being gay might affect your ability to earn and invest? That’s not to say there’s nothing in what they’re offering but we need to offer ourselves grace and space, and find the confidence to rely on our own judgement and prudence even when it doesn’t fit society’s norms.

The Gender Pay Gap Doesn’t Disappear in Queer Relationships

This is an interesting corner of this subjectnand it’s, of course, not straight forward. If two women are together they are statistically likely to be negatively affected by the gender pay gap, are more likely to take career breaks, could be affected by pregnancy (including any health implications around that) and caring responsibilities are more likely to fall onto them with aging parents etc. Two men together might statistically have a higher income but discrimination could still affect those earnings of course. 

In 2025 the median gender pay gap for full-time employees was 6.9%, so women earned on average 6.9% less than men. Of course, naturally, you think you’d multiply that by two when they’re in a relationship and thus women with women are on the back foot, but it turns out that’s not necessarily the case. Researchers have found evidence of a ‘lesbian premium’ whereby they earn on average 7% more than heterosexual women (so, more like men…?). This seems to apply even when you control for child-rearing circumstances - around a fifth of lesbian women had children at home, compared to a third of heterosexual women. Current research suggests that this premium gap is closing though so this isn’t settled science. 

One stat that intrigued me, in this Financial Times piece, was that lesbian women who had been married to a man enjoyed a much smaller premium than those who hadn’t, suggesting perhaps that when people have the option to be themselves and plan their lives, they make different choices. Including, maybe focussing on career and financial attainment or, assuming their lives are less likely to be affected by having children, they are less likely to be put off occupations that would penalise maternity breaks. 

Interestingly, there is no ‘premium’ by sexuality in Sweden and there’s actually a ‘penalty’ in Australia, turns out this is culturally contingent… I think this shows that queer finances aren’t necessarily ‘better’ or ‘worse’, especially not in the simplistic ways we might imagine but they are different and that deserves attention. 

For non-binary people we could easily be discussing workplace discrimination, difficulty finding inclusive employers, higher unemployment and underemployment, needing to move jobs, areas or even countries for safety rather than salary, legal name changes and the associated record updates and the emotional labour of dealing with a very binary society. 

The Stonewall Trans Report (2018) is still one of the most referred to publications and it is sobering reading. It found, for example, that half of trans and non-binary people (51%) have hidden their identity at work for fear of discrimination. Not easy to do your best, relax into work and move forward when you’re struggling to hide such an important part of your identity. Given that this was a whole eight years ago, and the state of the UK in regards to trans people, I don’t believe this has got better. 

The Cost of Gender Affirming Care

Gender affirmation is expensive, and getting it ‘right’ can be, or feel, life-threatening. It’s not just surgery but everything else too and it applies to so many different areas: 

Medical might include:

• hormones

• blood tests

• fertility preservation

• voice therapy

• surgery

• travel

• hair removal

• wigs

• chest binders

• packers

• prosthetics

Administration: 

• passports

• driving licence

• certificates

• replacing qualifications

• professional memberships

Everyday stuff:

• rebuilding wardrobe

• makeup

• skincare

• barber/hairdresser

• photography

Mental health care:

• counselling

• coaching

Potential lost income

• recovery from surgery

• NHS waiting lists pushing people into private care

• travel

This isn’t ‘lifestyle spending’, although I guess in a successful transition some of it may end up being that, it’s care that is imperative for the people that need it, both for their mental health and for the safety of living in this society. Transactual have published a really great guide to the process of, and rough costs involved in, gender reassignment and other health procedures in the UK.

The Cost of Becoming Parents

This is a huge topic actually and whilst it sort of sounds a bit doom and gloomy, in many ways people in relationships where pregnancy is not a possibility really have to plan and think ahead, which might give them a leg up in terms of dealing with the financial burden. 

Depending on the people affected the costs might include: donor sperm, IVF, reciprocal IVF, fertility treatment, surrogacy, egg donation, legal fees, fertility preservation, legal fees, travel and not least the time involved in all of this. Many financial planning guides simply assume that children happen ‘for free’ and that absolutely might not be the case for this community. 

Chosen Family Changes Financial Planning

Something that I really feel comforted by when I think about this, is how many of us are able to build the sort of chosen family that we might not have enjoyed growing up or be able to rely on now.

It feels like it’s changing, but those chosen family are often the people we need to rely on in the end rather than biological family (according to one UK charity in 2023, 46% percent of LGBT+ people are estranged from at least one family member). This is often emotional and relational support, community care and that absolutely can be financial support. And of course, if we want to rely on it, we must also be part of offering it. In this way, it’s both community care and queer liberation to aim towards financial stability and help others along on their way too.

Setting up a more community based, chosen family network might look a little different to the traditional life path. It might not include marriage or standard inheritance stuff but could include wills, shared housing or living in community, supporting young LGBTQIA+ kids, charity giving and volunteering, trusts, education, etc. It might mean time taken to travel to support people, looking after elderly chosen family or paying for funerals. All of this could equally apply to straight people but this sort of intentional living and active community has been at the heart of queer culture - long may it reign! 

Politics Has a Price Tag

I’m struggling to find ways to talk about this which are affirming and positive. The direction the UK is taking in regards to trans rights is absolutely scary. It is strange to me that such a small group of people take up such a large proportion of politicians and newsmakers’ brainspace when they could be focussing on the issues that are truly holding us down. According to Stonewall there are around 9,000 people with a Gender Recognition Certificate in the UK, these are the people that are directly affected by the case on the definition of a ‘woman’ and the subsequent Equality and Human Rights Commission Code of Practice. 9,000 people.

There are many places which are better able to explain what has gone on here, I’ll leave some links at the bottom of this section, but for now I offer some of the potential financial effects that this could have: changes or a reduction in access to healthcare, less access to travel and immigration, effects on marriage status and rights emanating from that like pensions and insurance, and of course potential discrimination in housing and employment. Not to mention the effect of living in a hostile place.

All of this will affect one’s financial plans and life decisions that have to be made - for example, it might be safer to live in a more urban, high cost of living area than stay in a backwater (it might equally be better to stay where you are known and accepted than strive to move across the country for a career opportunity). 

The Useful Links Regarding the Equality Act and ECHR Trans Code of Practice

• This page about the Equality Act 2010 from the charity Transactual although it has yet to be updated following the ECHR Code of Practice.

• Oscar Davies, the non-binary barrister, has a lot of great information and activism on their instagram.

• The Gender Identity Research and Education Society have published this guidance.

The Importance of Intersectionality

A white cisgender lesbian working in finance will have a very different financial experience from a disabled Black, trans woman, working part-time. Sexuality and gender identity don't exist in isolation. They intersect with race, disability, immigration status, caring responsibilities and class to shape financial outcomes and opportunities. It’s all about nuance and we must remember that there are no absolute ‘givens’ in this area - something which from the outside might seem difficult or terrible can actually be a huge opportunity, and vice versa of course. 

Money Isn’t Just About Survival

I really don’t want this to be a downer. LGBTQIA+ life can be and is joyful - it’s that that has kept us going through hard times and will again.

Getting a hold of your finances could allow you to: leave unsafe jobs or relationships, access healthcare, move somewhere accepting, support your community, take time off, start a business, volunteer, donate and, last but not least, live openly as your true self. 

So Let Me Offer Some Practical Tips: 

One sec, just getting my financial coach hat back on, rather than my angry, queer aunty hat: 

1) Build a slightly larger emergency fund, especially if your income feels vulnerable. 

3-9 months outgoings is often cited as a good amount to aim for. Start somewhere of course, but make your goal closer to the nine months end. And make sure you stick it in the highest interest, easy access account you can find!

2) Check beneficiary nominations. 

Especially for your pensions but also trusts and insurances. This might not be as clear cut if you’re choosing an ‘alternative family structure’ so make sure that your preference is heard. 

3) Make a will. 

For the same reasons - make sure your chosen family benefits as opposed to the family member who would rather you didn’t exist. 

4) Save intentionally for the things that matter to you. 

Transition-related costs, fertility costs, a legal protection fund. Siphon money towards what will allow you to live in comfort and security. Do it intentionally and without shame - nothing wrong with calling an account your ‘titty fund’ as one of my friend’s mates did…

5) Learn to invest. 

Building wealth gives you options and allows you to be the support that you want to be. Protect your credit score, research income protection, keep your legal documents in proper order - I hate to say it but, you have to be a grown up so that you can be free to live your life in whimsy. 

And finally…

Don’t compare your financial timeline to hetero life scripts. It’s different for you, not necessarily better or worse but different and if you approach this with intentionality and good judgement you’ll get to revel in the opportunities that being a member of the queer community offers. 

If any of this resonates and you want to talk through what financial security could look like for you specifically, that's exactly the kind of conversation coaching makes space for.

Love Eleanor. xxx