What Does A Seven Year Old Think About Money?
Because what the seven year old you thought about money is still directly affecting how adult you thinks about money and therefore what you’re doing with it now.
I first heard about this on a Barclays advert actually. Not that long ago. But it’s something which has popped up here and there as I’ve been exploring the financial advice and coaching world.
The experiences and beliefs imprinted on us during childhood affect how we move through the world as adults
I’m not sure anybody would argue with that, but I hadn’t quite clicked that that applies to money too.
One common coaching question in the financial space is to ask about a persons first money memory. I’ve done this a few times for myself now and I want to tell you a story which I think shows how powerful this stuff has the potential to be.
My mum was the matron of an old folks’ home when I was a kid. It was a high security home for older folks with mental ill health and I have many happy memories of spending time there - Christmas day, bring and buy sales, following a particular lady resident around whilst she ‘dead headed’ plants by picking off every single flower, the cook’s delicious fruity tea cake.
Back in the day, the staff room was also the smoking room for both residents and staff (of course). There was no such thing as keeping children away from smoke… So one day, I would have been around six or seven, just chilling in the smoking room, I told one of the staff how much I thought my mum earned and then asked how much she earned. I don’t remember the conversation leading up to it but I remember seeing an emotion on her face - shock probably, maybe amusement, she was kind - and my mum told me quickly and sharply that you weren’t allowed to talk about that.
And that’s that, the memory is just like a couple of seconds long. I do know what number I said, I’ve no idea if it was the true figure, and of course now I know that:
not everybody wants to talk about money.
it was absolutely not my place to talk about mum’s money or this woman’s.
there are power systems and structures within a workplace.
So I wouldn’t be doing the same thing. Obviously.
But at the time I took away:
you’ve got no clue about the dynamics going on here.
this stuff is for other people to know.
you cocked up and probably upset people.
I’m not suggesting that anybody (even little, curious me really) did anything wrong here. And I’ve no doubt that everybody else has absolutely forgotten it, I had until I starting digging around. But when I tell you that those last three bullet points have. followed. me. around. I am not kidding!
Obviously, I didn’t just pick them up at that moment and then they automatically grooved themselves so deeply into me that I’m still working with them now. These are concepts which developed and were ingrained over time and many experiences.
Awareness of them explains some of my instincts and acknowledging that has shifted the way I’ve behaved more than once.
Interesting hey?
What’s your first money memory?
Love Eleanor. xxx
