This Delightful Horse

You can’t tell me this isn’t the most delightful thing you’ve ever seen!

I mean, it’s also terrible obviously. My nephew bought it for me, for 30p, at a flea market when he was around three years old. Apparently he saw it and gasped ‘Eleanor!’ and I can see why.

I adore second hand stuff. I tend to think things were made better ‘back in the day’ but even if it’s the case that the stuff that was well made is the stuff that’s still around, well I’m okay with that.

A Crisis of Stuff

We all know there’s too much stuff in the world, according to Patrick Grant there’s enough existing clothing for next six generations (I was expecting this to have a more solid source to be honest, but he does know clothes so I’m going to trust him).

As I was on my morning, earphone free, wander through the forest, something reminded me of that little green horse vase and I got to thinking about yet another reason to love second hand shopping - it doesn’t make the rest of your stuff look shit!

Have you heard of the Diderot Effect?

Somebody gave this guy a new dressing gown and it was so fantastic it made everything else in his life look terrible so he replaced it all and ended up in debt! Must have been quite some dressing gown!

So the idea is that one shiny new thing makes everything around it look worse, and if it niggles at you enough you’ll be tempted to replace one thing and then another and then another.

Have you ever had that though? You buy a new dress and now you need earings, a cardi and some shoes to go with it? Or a new rug doesn’t quite go with the cushions so you need a few more bits to make everything work?

I’m not so susceptible to those specific thoughts actually, but I’ve definitely been drawn into the ‘I need cheering up so I’ll book a facial, but if I also book a massage and a pedicure I get some money knocked off so why not?’ track.

Lifestyle Creep

This is something that is often warned against in personal finance - the idea that as you start to earn more money, you spend a little more here and there - you’ve got the 5* gym membership, chef cooked cat food and you’re doing your weekly shop at Marks and Sparks (sounds fantastic if you ask me). It all adds up though and before you know it you’ve got less money than you had originally.

As an aside, I’m a little wary of this ‘advice’ actually, it often sounds very judgemental and if you’re an overthinker with a tendency towards guilt or shame (like me) you don’t need anybody else to tell you you don’t deserve nice things. But more on that another day I think…

If Only the Fancy Dressing Gown Were Second Hand…

Then maybe it wouldn’t have made all of his other possessions feel old and out of place. It might have slotted in a little more comfortably, still new to him and exciting, but a little worn in, with a history and with less gleam about it.

Second hand stuff, in this way, might just be the perfect solution to this lifestyle creep/Diderot effect problem.

There’s a Privilege in the Second Hand Life

It takes a little more time generally, you can’t guarantee you’ll come upon exactly what you want or need that day or in that area. And for this same reason, clothes especially are harder to find if you’re fat or have other specific needs. It’s just not equally accessible to everybody.

I often think about the privilege I have when I head out into the world with a bike which has obviously been fixed and patches on my clothes. I love these things, aesthetically that worn-in/well-loved look is what I enjoy, but I have the privilege of being a white woman, without a traditional career, who chooses this. I also have a sense of what looks good and balanced (although I definitely also like the weirder side of things). Race, age, class, where you live and a whole host of other factors might make looking like that an impossibility in a practical sense.

That’s not to say that you need to look like a bag lady, just that I do and I like it. Careful second hand shopping also offers incredible access to products and a lifestyle that might otherwise be unobtainable.

My Top Three Second Hand Shopping Tips

1. Shop with a purpose.
   I’m not saying don’t be distracted (I picked up a much-needed lemon juicer the other day for about a pound when I was actually looking for a mason jar), but definitely have an idea of the type of things you’re looking for, what’s missing in your home or wardrobe and the sorts of size, colours and styles that you’re after. Have it at the front of your mind as you browse.

2. Ask yourself if you’d buy it if it weren’t so cheap.
   I definitely get a bit carried away and, dare I say… feel a bit sorry… for some things. Like ugly jumpers or obviously handmade things. It definitely relates to the first point, but it’s also about really testing whether it is truly what you love, and if you don’t know that, then that’s a skill worth growing because knowing what you truly want, need and love is a central tenet of a wealthy life.

3. Learn some basic cleaning, fixing and sewing skills.
   Cleaning especially is something I’m trying to be much more mindful of. It can make a world of difference and it can simply be a case of whacking everything in soapy water and calling it good. But lately Insta has been showing me a lot of dry cleaning reels and it’s made me remember my jobs as a dry cleaner when every cleaning product had a specific use and a specific way to use it and if you followed those rules they worked like an absolute dream!

I’ll be writing about lifestyle creep on the newsletter soon so make sure you’re signed up!

Tell me about your best second hand find!

Love Eleanor. xxx